While I am not Catholic, I was pleased to be invited to join and link up by my friend Lisa at Home to 4 Kiddos, Chris at Campfire and Cleats and other Christians blogging about Lent. This link up began last week, so I am rather late getting into it, but I really have been thinking about and researching Lent, it's purpose and what that means to many Christians throughout the world.
In order to prepare for this post, I did some reading about Lent. I wanted to make sure that my post captured the true meaning and purpose of this important time in the Christian calendar. I believe that Lent is a time for us as Christians to think more about Jesus Christ, his mission and atonement, and to incorporate actions into our lives that will bring us closer to Him. It is in this spirit, that I offer my own thoughts on some things I would like to give up, in order to become closer to the Savior. Here are five things that I want to give up, not just at Lent, but permanently.
1. Sleazy TV, movies and books
OK, admit it. I have enjoyed watching The Real Housewives of Orange County over the past several season. I can rationalize this by explaining that I used to live in Southern California near to where these housewives live and I liked to see how they raised their kids and handled conflicts with each other, their children and spouses. Besides, some of the housewives claimed to be Christian! I could make the case, and even did, that the show was "educational," which was truly a stretch. In reality, this show and so many others out there are just simply sleazy. The people on the show fight, argue, lie, gossip and engage in some truly immoral behavior. They are immodest, profane and dishonest. They do not, in any way, portray a Christian lifestyle. I'm not judging the housewives, or anyone else on TV. They can behave in any way they choose to. I'm just saying I am choosing not to watch them any more. I am also choosing to avoid movies and books that aren't conducive with my Christian values - in other words anything that I would not watch or read if Jesus was in the room with me.
2. Gossip and fault finding
At the school where I teach, we have a new principal this year, after the retirement of a much revered and respected principal who had held that position for years. The new principal is very nice, but he does things his own way. Recently, he made a decision that was unpopular with many of the people on the staff. Everyone was talking about what he had done. Some people were angry. I admit that I was present and participated in some of these conversations until I realized that what we were all engaging in was simply gossip. None of us probably had all of the facts of the situation and judging our boss and talking about him behind his back was not right. I'm not going to do it any more. It's wrong and wouldn't please Jesus.
3. Time wasters
I'm a busy person and there is a lot going on in my life right now. Between family, work, church and school I don't have a lot of extra time. We all need a little down time occasionally, but I somehow can't see how it honors Jesus Christ when I spend valuable minutes and hours doing things that have no real purpose. I resolve to ask myself, more often, why I am doing what I am doing at any given time. If the activity isn't helping me to somehow serve my family or others or honor God in my life, I probably need to give it up, or at least cut way back on it. Another blogger I like to read, Faithe at Gold in the Clouds wrote a post about this very thing today, entitled "Just Say No." I also found a really great article entitled 25 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Time On. Good food for thought. You can read that article here.
4. Anger
Anger is an emotion we all experience, and I will have to confess to some pretty embarrassing episodes of anger in my life. That's just what anger does - it causes us to act in ways that are embarrassing. It doesn't usually accomplish anything except making us lose a friend or hurt a family member. I don't want to do it any more. That being said, I probably will get angry again, it seems to be part of being human, but at least I will try much harder to deescalate my own angry feelings or avoid situations that cause me to get angry. I don't like myself much when I'm angry and others don't like me then either, so this is one thing I want to give up for Lent and forever.
5. Blame
The only person I truly have any control over is myself. Blaming someone else for my problem or situation only means that I am giving control of how I deal with the problem to someone else. Jesus said had this to say about blaming others, instead of taking responsibility ourselves:
"And why beholdest though the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Or how wilt though say to they brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and behod, a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt though see clearly to cast out the mote out of they brother's eye."
--Matthew 7:3-5 KJV
While I want to give up these five things, there are other things I want to put in their place.
1. Spending more time with the scriptures.
The older I get, the more I truly enjoy reading the scriptures. Not only do they have some really interesting plot lines and characters, they provide a pathway to living. When I liken the scriptures to myself, I am amazed that I find real solutions to my problems and guidance for everything I do. Jesus put it this way:
"Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me."
--John 5:39 KJV
2. Encouraging and building others.
This morning, I was in a situation where a woman who was a native Spanish speaker, was trying very hard to communicate in English. She was having a rough time. She knew what she wanted to say, but the words were not coming out right. She was becoming embarrassed by her misspoken words and I could see tears welling in her eyes. Even though this woman was a complete stranger, I got the overwhelming feeling that I should give her a hug, thank her for trying and tell her that she really was doing a great job. I've tried learning a different language and it can be tough. Thankfully, I followed my impression. I smiled, thanked the woman for trying and told her that she was doing fine. Her warm smile of gratitude for a few simple words of encouragement has stayed with me all day. I want to encourage and build others - not bring them down.
3. Setting goals and priorities.
I need to figure out what things are most important to me, then make sure that I am allocating my resources, time, money and energy, to these things. If something isn't important, there is no reason to give it a place in my life. I love how the late Stephen R. Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People said it,
"...you have to decide what is important. What do you really want to be and do with your life. What is your mission? What do you want people to say about you 30 or 40 years from now? Then, look at what is being asked of you and see if those things are a part of your life’s important goals. If not, smile and say “no.” If you’ve really decided what is important, you can become an agent in helping the people you work with, your family, friends and boss, know and understand your top priorities. This takes courage. It means you have to stand up for what you feel is important and help others understand why."
What I spend the most time, money and energy on in my life, must match up with what is most important to me or I will never be truly effective or truly happy.
4. Acting and speaking with love and kindness.
We never know what someone else is going through in life. Being kind costs nothing at all, yet can have a big impact. Last week, at the very end of the school day, I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. As it turned out, it was from an old friend who I hadn't seen or talked to for several years. She sent me a text telling me she had been thinking of me and hoped I was OK. She had heard about some "stuff" I was going through and wanted to offer her love and support. I called her back and we had a lovely conversation which lifted us both. Her kindness lifted a burden and put a smile on my face and in my heart.
As the Reverend John Watson, a noted Scottish author put it:
4. Acting and speaking with love and kindness.
As the Reverend John Watson, a noted Scottish author put it:
"Let us be especially kind to one another for most of us are fighting a hard battle."
The Apostle Paul said it even better:
"...And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
--Ephesians 4:32
5. Being responsible.
I have read that President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk that read "The Buck Stops Here." When I don't take responsibility for my words, actions, attitudes and choices, I am giving up my ability to change them for the better.
I like how motivational speaker Denis Waitley put it:
"A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. you are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make."
If I say or do something good, I can own that and feel good about it. If I do or say something that is not good, I need to own that as well and be willing to change it.
Ultimately, I want to use these things that I want to add and subtract from my life, to help myself move closer to Christ, during the Lentin and Easter season and beyond. If something bring me closer to Christ, I want to keep it in or add it to my life. If something takes me away from the Savior, I want that thing out of my life
The words to this beautiful song by Sally Deford really sums up how I feel:
If the Savior stood beside me,
would I do the things I do?
Would I think of His commandments,
and try harder to be true?
Would I follow His example?
Would I live more righteously
If I could see the Savior standing nigh,
watching over me?
If the Savior stood beside me,
would I say the things I say?
Would my words be true and kind
if He was never far away?
Would I try to share the gospel?
Would I speak more reverently
If I could see the Savior standing nigh,
watching over me?
He is always near me,
though I do not see Him there,
And because He loves me dearly,
I am in His watchful care.
So I'll be the kind of person
that I know I'd like to be
If I could see the Savior standing nigh,
watching over me.
May we all strive in live in a way that will bring us closer to Jesus Christ, now and all year long.
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